Tony v. Kevin

As a rule and because of his status, Tony is not prone to showing his emotions to anyone. Tony also cannot admit to himself the feelings that he has, like when he is feeling guilty or when he is ashamed. Tony’s subconscious has to reveal all of this to himself. Tony is no stranger to pride, he is always trying to put himself in a position in which he comes out on top and he is successful, basking in his glory. However, on the rare occasion, Tony feels shame. Though, this is one of the emotions that Tony cannot reveal to himself. 

In season 6, episode 4, Tony is in a coma. His uncle (Uncle Junior) shot him in the previous episode, leaving Tony helpless. Tony experiences an alternate reality in which he is not Tony Soprano, but rather Kevin Finnerty. In the coma and the alternate universe, Tony has lost his wallet and all identity that is tied to him. Tony does not know where he is or who he is. People start referring to him as Kevin Finnerty and Tony goes along with this bit. Without any way to prove that he is himself, Tony buys into his new persona. The deeper meaning to this episode is that Tony reflects on his life and feels deep shame. Tony, as Kevin, feels exposed, powerless, and fraudulent. Kevin is supposed to be a typical, suburban dad salesman. He is supposed to be wearing a suit, blend into society, and disappear. This is Tony’s subconscious playing into his fears of amounting to nothing. Throughout the whole series, one of Tony’s greatest fears is not being remembered for a strong and fearless leader. After his uncle shoots him, Tony feels like he is nothing, he was taken down and he has no defense. Consistently throughout the show, Tony says “I don’t know who I am,” or “I’m not the man I thought I was.” If he doesn’t say these things explicitly, he says them in his mind and thinks about them constantly. This is how Tony appraises his emotions. Tony becoming Kevin is his way of sinking into his shame.

Tony feels shame instead of guilt because he does not believe that he has done anything inherently wrong in his life. He has just been doing what the mafia needs and requires of him. He believes that all the actions that he has chosen are the right actions and that there was nothing else that he could do.