Failure & Fate

Tony Soprano has a clear fear of failure and his panic attacks are the result of that factor. He will do anything to avoid having a failure under his belt, because a failure could get you killed in his world. Tony’s achievement motive (which is the fear of failure) is his reason for trying to be successful and trying to keep everything together. Tony has many goals, but to make this specific, a goal that he continuously faces throughout the series is his search and attainment of power and control over the mob family (however, to clarify, Tony does not want to take over other crime families, just solely control his). His fear of failure pushes him to keep going and that exhausts Tony mentally and physically. The pressure that Tony places on himself and the pressure that external forces have placed on him shows that he experiences controlled reasons, he has to do all of these things because of external and introjected factors. Tony knows that past leaders have focused their time and energy on expanding their area of control, and Tony feels like he has to live up to all of these previously conceived expectations. Tony has shut downs throughout the series in the form of panic attacks. He has these panic attacks when he feels he is failing at something. Tony never gets his fear of failure under control, and he continues to let that motivation drive his goals throughout the series. We also see the deterioration of Tony, as he shows physical and psychological symptoms that worsen as time continues. 

Tony comes from a Catholic upbringing, being Italian and all. His wife is devoted: Carmela is close friends with the priest and continuously attempts to be a good practicing Catholic by going to confession and supporting church functions. However, Tony shows to be more culturally Catholic: Christmas, the cross, and the idea of the trinity. Throughout the show, Tony does not show his belief in God, which would typically be a mobsters’ secondary control belief. Instead, Tony’s secondary belief is fate. Tony is trapped in the idea that he cannot control what is going to happen to his life because his fate is predestined. For example, he continuously tells Dr. Mefi that he was born into the Mafia and that this life was the only one for him. He watched his father as the head of the crime family and knew. From a young age, that is what his father would want for him when he grew up, because in that life, being the boss was the highest accomplishment. Due to this belief, he never gives himself the opportunity that he was meant for more and a better life. He accepts all that happens to him because he believes it is supposed to. Instead of being an active factor in his life: changing things because he has the power to, he is passive and allows his secondary controls to drive his course. While as complex as he seems, it all boils down to his childhood trauma: he just wants to be the man his father and mother think he should be (in the mafia and in his blood family).